My Journal

live within us," - sle.   Busy with school stuff and getting things done.  Guess have given up on the property and trying to keep it for Penelope.  I want it for myself is what I am being told.  So many people today lack feelings, caring, and anything spiritual.  I always wanted to be cold and feeling-less, but have grown to really appreciate having feelings and spirit.  Those demons may have been the things that saved me.  Fighting them, myself, and keeping away from the temptations of the 'Devil', battling him, I stayed out of harms way until I was ready to be 'myself'.  Lost some years there, but hopefully, have a few left.  My belly pouch is getting smaller and I can see abs.  Am feeling so much better.  Time to check up on emails and news.  Last day of classes for the semester.  Don't like the final exam being in the evening this coming Monday, but it is what it is.  The blender and morning drinks are working out...

how strong can faith be in others?" - sle.  The beginning of this title came to me as driving to get some 'hot' chocolate the other day.  Went and got some yesterday, too, enjoyed but come have been better.  Sweet Pea, she is the most wonderful.  Finished writing up my last attempt to keep the property and home.  Don't have much hope in it.  Oh, I do have another option, but?  Next new year will be something else.  Tomorrow, maybe the renaissance festival.  May have to check into a dictionary for blogger, haha.  Kinda anticipating getting out on my own.  Will never understand people.  Games they play.  Trying to keep the roof over everyone's head here and had to fight not only the mortgage company but, also, the arrogant ones here.  Instead of trying to help me, all they considered was how to steal from me and make things difficult.  I understand him, he just wants in her pants and to control things.  He has...

justify the past," - sle.  JFK: The Smokine Gun.  Am watching 'And Justice For All' with Al Pacino.  Love Al Pacino, except for that Scarface thing.  Yesterday was a 'hot chocolate' day.  Enjoyed myself.  Wasn't as bad as I planned, hehe.  JFK: The Smoking Gun says the President's shooting was accidental because the Secret Service guy fell backwards in the car.  I think it proves it may have been intentional.  Don't think they investigated that point enough.  Saw a documentary about destroyers.  Reminded me of Hoot.  He was in the engine room of one during WWII.  Have a picture of it but can't remember the name of the destroyer.  Think I have a photo somewhere.  Working on finishing up a letter to finalize things here on getting title to the property and home.  Don't think will work out so early next year will be leaving.  Hoping to have a peaceful Thanksgiving but ain't working out that way.  The ...

is ignorance," - sle.  I will be a day ahead now.  Fate, Chance, Luck was yesterday.  Later.  Well, the next day has come.  Nice morning.  Sweet Pea is off school this week.  She came and played with Chance in the bed while I was under the covers telling Chance to behave.  Toe is still not completely healed.  Ugh.  But seems to be getting there.  Sweet Pea has such a nice home here.  She mentioned about going to California for Christmas.  Her dad is going to take her to see snow.  She thinks it will be her first time with snow, but she saw and played in snow here.  Build a little snowman with her.  She had fun, but it was awhile back.  Seeing the reality of everything so clearly now.  Seems like it was always so blurry but now so clear.  Guess those feelings, spirits, demons, whatever were clouding my vision.  There is a slight chance I can save the place, but don't have much hope that wi...

 changes not the truth of the fact," - sle.  Got my heading for tomorrow.  Boo is still on YouTube and tablet.  No school tomorrow.  What a pistol.  She will need to be next year.  I have learned to accept the facts.  I have to get out of here.  Age is not so much the issue as it is I have to find the 'woman' that can keep me going forward in 'my' life.  As she keep going forward in 'her' life.  Most people find a point in life where they stop 'growing' and 'changing'.  Which I am not judging, but it isn't for me.  Guess I am searching for something to fill that missing piece in me.  Love my Flex2.  The keyboard lights up which is great, but it isn't as friendly as my tablet here for typing.  It has a touch pad.  The tablet doesn't.  Time for the Flex.  Will have to set it up for my blog, in case, I do want to use it sometimes for that.  Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son.  Styx - Come Sa...

for time does not exist in true love, it is eternal," - sle.   Didn't write any yesterday.  The hot chocolate was OK, but the desserts weren't good to me.  Ths morning has been nice.  Sweet Pea is so wonderful and growing up so well.  Her stomach is hurting a little today, but is getting through it.  She was outside for awhile on the hammock under the patio.  Baby's stomach was getting worse, so gave her an ice pack, but she ended up calling her mother running for aomething at the auto store with the trash.  Takes two I guess.  Just hope it is a little gas or something.  Mom got home and is looking after her.  Attitude doesn't give someone a brain or makes them able to think.  That is what is wrong with trash.  A lot of trash has attitude but no substance.  Is something really a skill if you don't understand what you are doing, simply repeating what you have been taught?  Attitude doesn't seem to have common sens...

 for the Present is the Past and the Future," - sle.  Came up with this one this morning.  Somewhat like, does spirit and soul take up space, contract and expand.  Hmmm.  At the moment, or present, the past exists.  Without the moment, there is no past.  At the moment, or present, the future exists.  Without the moment  Was an interesting day.  Took out a lot of stuff from the closet and my dresser and started organizing.  Put some stuff in my car to take to someone.  Went down the road and stopped to put air in my tires.  Can't get to my air compressor in my shed since it ain't my shed no more, haha.  A long story.  Anyway, one tire pretty low and I discovered I didn't have my driver's license.  Hope the air would help the tire, but needed change, too.  Got the change at home with my license.  Went back and filled up the tires.  Do I go and make the delivery or do I go get the tire fixed....

or do we 'build' ourselves," - sle. Have some errands to run this morning, so up a little earlier.  Discovered more last night with my thinking.  Looking at things on a grand scale instead of an individual scale.  Oh, I have learned it mentioned in a way before, but am understanding it more.  Still some fine points to figure out, but hopefully, getting there.  Sweet Pea, so beautiful this morning.  She is small enough to sit on the chair with her feet and squat down.  She is just so adorable.  Thinking how things will rip her up in a few months, but I don't see how I can save the place, nor if "I" should.  Figthing with her mom and sure there will be issues with her uncle, not sure if it is worth it.  Not thinking of me so much.  Just don't think I have it in me.  Always thought of myself as a strange bird, but her mom and that trash are stranger than me.  Such big talkers but both big BS'ers.  They work in the shadow...

only as One does it become 'true'," - sle. Dealt with the dogs this mornings, student email, then exercises.  Finished breakfast.  Getting ready for going to work.  Stopping at Walmart to return something and to get a protective security thing removed from something I bought.  Trying to think of a title or heading, but haven't yet.  Maybe something from the Da Vinci Code.  Things at Walmart went well.  Drive to work fine.  Kinda darkish cold weather clouds, little gloomy, but nice.  Had login issue with my classroom computer.  Called IT.  Lady came right over.  Just something simple.  Got it now.  The IT person is nice.  Has a Czechoslovakian accent.  Had to look at the calendar for the rest of the semester.  Put together my final exam for the classroom.  Now, have to check into how to deal with the Testing Center.  Have one student that will probably be taking it there.  Trying to stay a...

but God is not part of everyone's 'family'," - sle.  Family, like so many other words, have many definitions.  The greatest Family is one of God.  Sadly, so many people misunderstand God.  Well, got a couple of student emails to deal with...... This is a few days later.  Been away from writing for awhile.  Won't be on long now.  Almost time for bed, if I am lucky.  Run Silent, Run Deep.  Great movie.  Da Vinci Code, today, with the Alamo, with John Wayne.  Didn't know it did so well at the box office.  Well, for United Artists over the years, as well.  God is a funny man.  Just so many coincidences.  Anyway, he is funny.  Been doing so great.  The trash is back but he has been staying away from me, which is good.  Not sure, but think it got back to him and her that I had a copy of his signature for receiving the package with my check in it that he stole.  Also, the possibility I could push wha...

 is unseen but flows through all," - sle.  Finished watching the episodes of Age of Sumarai: Battle for Japan.  The sumarai were some fierce warriors.  The blood shed they inflicted in battle and outside battle.  Didn't start any writing yesterday.  Had a nice day.  The division meeting didn't last long.  Got some "hot" chocolate yesterday during the day.  Finished earlier than I wanted, but did some shopping at Burlington.  Enjoyed the shopping but only did part of the store.  Anyway, found some stuff for Christmas decoration and for Boo.  Found a fairy cat painting for the front room.  I like it.  Between the outside wall and the TV.  Looking at it now.  The cat has a silver crown.  What a beautiful home this could be.  But only to the beginning of the next year, for sure.  The games people play, especially those that never grow up.  Am getting stronger.  Don't need anyone, but sti...

temples are the people," - sle.  Finished Mary Magdalene.  Loved Joaquin Phoenix.  Nice movie.  Trying to base the heading on it.  Watching the colorized WWII episodes from yesterday.  Current one is the Battle of the Bulge.  The one on Stalingrad was interesting.  Normandy was pretty good today.  Boo is back from karate and on YouTube.  She is something else.    Talking about Hitler.  On drugs and went more nuts after the assassination attempt.  Battle of the Bulge wasn't too bright.  Back to the heading title.  Talking about Patton now.  He is a hero and a character. Loved reading about him.  Malmedy and Dresden, names forgotten in history.  Read a little about Angel numbers.  Went and paid some on one of my credit cards and the new available was $666.  Haha.  God is a funny man.  The bombing of Dresden was a living hell and for no military reason for being bombed....

 not memories nor what is to come, 'the moment' of the child's smile?" - sle.  Nice day.  Mind has been going all over the place.  The best moments, Sweet Pea.  Oh, the treasures in life that people overlook.  They soak in the teasures through the motions but can't drink the nectar for they don't "stop and smell the roses."  Through my struggles in life, so wanted to be able to stop and smell the roses, without being ripped apart.  The clouds today were so pleasant and pleasing today while driving into work.  Beautiful day.  Watched some colorized WWII stuff.  Episode on Midway.  Next one is Kamikaze.  Now, watching MoneyBall.  Like Brad Pitt.  Seems nice so far.  Did a little tweet just a few minutes ago.  Have to learn how to maneuver it.  Sweet Pea came home from karate and played a few songs to me and I have to guess the titles.  Duh?  Couldn't even get Help.  She dances some and...

just alone.  Up in the Air, with George Clooney.  Nice movie.  Firing people as a full-time job doesn't seem like something I would like to do.  Know someone that loves Sam Elliott.  He was on it for about a minute or two.  Airline pilot.  Someone in the movie was going to get married and had cold feet, "What is the point?"  George Clooney's answer was interesting.  Now, onto Tombstone and finishing it.  Nice day with Sweet Pea, and Chance.  Didn't rain.  Oh, Tombstone has Sam Elliott, too.  Kurt Russell is good in it, as is the lady that plays the singer.  The cast is pretty good.  Kurt Russell looks a lot like the real Wyatt Earp with the mustache.  My abs are getting better.  Still that pouch of a stomach, but things are getting flatter.  Have to keep it up.  Maybe when I go to the full doze of Ozempic.  The ending of Tombstone is nice.  Going with Red River, tonight.  Forget...

 you could tell by looks," - sle.  Drive to get some "hot" chocolate was nice.  Enjoyed myself.  Got home and saw Sweet Pea on the road with a friend.  She is something else.  Ghost Protocol was not the movie I thought it was.  I like Rogue Nation.  Anyway, went and finished watching Jesse Stone.  The creep is here, I believe.  Mr. Chance hates him, too.  Got Chance in the back room.  Did emails and reading news.  Guess just buying my time.  Learning I can live on my own.  Sweet Pea has a nice life here, but it will change at the beginning of the new year.  Things seem to be working out that way.  Finished watching Jesse Stone.  One I don't remember seeing, probably didn't.  Saw a good number of people.  Something just seems missing.  Spirit would be my guess.  Seems like they are lost.  One man was handicapped and went into the women's restroom.  I didn't say anything...

 'you' are what 'you' make of it," - sle.  Oblivion, a Tom Cruise movie.  I never heard of it before, either.  But, saw parts of it years ago.  Didn't know the name of it.  The nerve of some people.  Trash and worthless.  Unappreciative and ungrateful because they are trash that just takes and when they do something, anything, you owe them.  Trash.  Oh, Sweet Pea.  I do pray a betterr life for you.  In time.  Will be better prepared in walking away next year.  Things are flowing well, so far.  Went to the courthouse for some papers, which glad I did.  Then, was able to get my oil changed in about 15 minutes and make it home for Sweet Pea.  I shouldn't use the word home, but for now, it is.  If I can only kick their asses off and find a little peace before making any final decisions.  Mr. Kenny, I think has decided on a home where she will put him.  In time.  Boo is at karate.  S...

 man makes the greatest devil," - sle.  Don't know if it was the Ozempic or the prices, but while in Walmart my hunger was there but when down.  Class went great.  Kept me awake.  Sweet Pea is so great.  Sweetheart.  My Boo.  Watching Notting Hill.  Seems nice.  Caught the end once or twice maybe years ago.  Julia Roberts, haven't watched many of her films, but this one is nice.  Like her in Ocean Twelve.  Seems like she has a great personality.  Abbott & Costello was nice to have found last night.  Sweet Pea is making a video with her tablet.  Oh, my.  Abbott & Costello kinda are like the real world.  Funny sometimes.  Why most men are fascinated by boobs?  Men, in general, are basically, by instincts, have animal tendancies.  Just the facts.  Most men are pigs.  Just the facts ma'am.  Abbott & Costello to Hitler: A Career.  Love the history.  No...

 every breath you take," - sle.  Wrote another heading.  That is for tomorrow.  Most likely.  Horrors of war on a Halloween night.  "Shut-up," with your hands over your ears.  What men will do in war with lost humanity.  Need to see the end of the movie.  There is no going back and changing things.  There is no making up for lost humanity.  You have to live with it.  The horrors of it.  War is more than Hell.  War continues even when it is over.  Movie is a long one.  "All Quiet on the Westerrn Front."  Diesel prices, OMG. who would ever think diesel would be such an issue.  Killer Planet asteroid discovered that one day might hit Earth.  Boy, things only get better.  Some people never get tired of war.  Gerrmans.  Some leaders were fanatics.  Adolf Hitler.  How do you not get tired of death.  No question for there is no answer for some people.  "Start gather...