"Truth is in Actions,

 breathes of hot air are just that," - sle.  Fasting for tomorrow morning.  Finished reading the news.  Some interresting articles.  Did read one earlier today that the daylight will get shorter and shorter in October by over an hour and more.  It is getting darker earlier.  I did think while doing dishes, drying and picking up, how I can still curse God even though I have had a great life with Him protecting me.  I do feel Him trying to talk to me, but it is not me that He needs to talk to.  I have basically come down to the fact that I have got to close this place down.  It ain't mine no more, unless I can get them out and start over.  They have too much negatively surrounding them.  They don't want to do better.  They want to be silly and belly laughs, I guess, mean more.  Well, I know what he wants.  She just wants to have friends and doesn't know as much about people as she thinks.  Such a worldly person.  I could go on and on.  Just letting out frustrations.  They don't have no concept of how they are mistreating people.  Abusing them in a way.  Oh, I had a way out, many.  But, Sweet Pea means more to me.  That's life and war.  I am in a war.  My main goal is to minimize the damage and suffering by Sweet Pea.  I will keep going in the direction He guides me.  If He wants to talk, however, do it with someone else.  I want to find the light at the end of the tunnel, peace and a beautiful life.  Getting tired of all that He is tossing in my face.  In time.  Will be able to wipe my face and start anew.  Fasting, don't think it is going to help my sleep.  Haha.  Tomorrow, it will be a long one, most likely.  Need to create some more draft titles.  Tomorrow.  Great morning. "Steven, do you want to play Roblox>"  She was my alarm clock.  Played a little, then took off for my blood work.  Don't like going to BR,, but love the doctor.  A little old lady in line with me comes across the river.  Zillion people, but great doctors apparently.  Went well, then off back towards home and took a little while but found the place I was looking for.  Another step forward.  Don't think I can make it to the end of January. Trash.  To keep it simple.  Pushing it to the limit and I am near there.  Anyway, found out some information, which I thought would be more difficult, but ain't much to it.  And got some infor for another direction.  Got home and kids playing.  Little disagreement between them, so the two friends went home.  Little later, took Mr. Kenny to Target.  Got him a laundry bag for his beads at parades and for his clothes when he goes visit his sister.  Not expensive and nice.  He is still thinking on it???  Janet isn't resting well.  Probably, madder than hell but like me, wouldn't say anything, except he wouldn't dare be here.  He won't be much longer if I can't help it?  Getting there.  Janet's photo on the fridge was on the floor when I got home.  I put it back on the fridge.  Hope she is resting better.  Know they are blowing money crazy, but none of my business except she isn't meeting her obligations she is suppose to.  Trash is great at spending other people's money.  A trashy bum is worse than regular trash.  They, trashy bums, not only live off people, they 'eat' off people.  I feel worse for Hoot.  Reminds me how phony she is.  No, feelings she said.  Well, she is proving the point to me and Hoot.  Just thinking of some photos.  Phony, all the way through.  Think more of this trash then her mother, daughter, and  memory of her father.  A creep.  And a moocher and don't mind being one.  Not grateful to anyone, not even Janet and family.  She found the right 'friends'.  Talked with my dean a little.  Think I got my schedule done for the spring.  Now, to get people to enroll in the classes, haha.  Things seem to be rolling along.  If I keep the place or not, I can get rid of them.  Next, to find out how to sell it.  If I can, fine, if I can't, fine.  I can't lost except for losing Sweet Pea.  How can a mother choose trash over her daugther?  She ain't the first to do it, but doesn't make it right.  All this "love you" BS they throw around and they don't mean a word of it.  He will toss her the moment he gets someone else's pants and she doesn't have anything else to buy him with.  He is trash.  He may not know right from wrong, which he doesn't, but doesn't justify hurting people.  Makes him feel like he is something.  He ain't.  Trash.  Well, enough of that.  Waiting.  Going out tonight.  Hopefully, just a little fun.  Fingers crossed.  You all have a great eveing and a good night.  News, emails, and watching a Christmas movie again.  Pleasant little thing.  Mr. Kenny is enjoying going out.  His way of escaping the pressure of his feelings.  He is a lot like Janet, in that, family means so much, and he doesn't know how to handle his feelings here, now.  He is trying to accept it but it still bothers him.  He wants to find a salvage yard to bang up an old junk car with a sledge hammer, 20 pound one.  Haha. She runs up and down the hall some and I scream, "Ghost.  Protect me Chance."  Haha.  God bless.  It amazes me how people will pray to God, but then, think He can't talk to people.  Yes, I know some people hear Him when they truly don't, but don't judge them too quickly.  He isn't talking to me so much today, except by the beautiful weather and how things seem to be flowing.  Tried to discuss her friends with her a little trying to teach her how to relate with them better.  Don't push it too hard.  She has plenty of years to learn.  Maybe have to come up with some draft titles.  No writing today, but got an idea.  Complement of my cousin and godmother.  Unless I forget it.  Haha.  Sweet Pea asked for help to clean her room.  Wasn't much.  We stared each other in the face earlier when I was trying to discuss with her fighting with her friends, they wanting to do something and Boo wanting to do something else.  Now, she is going over there to play, haha.  Anyway, she mentioned how things were going to be when she was a teenager here.  How sad.  All lost for a pile of crap.  Trash.  He knows how to pull her strings and she is so weak to fall for the shit.  People who are on the same level relate better to each other.  Sadly, they seldom raise each other.  Sweet Pea.  She is growing up so fast.  She lost her phone, again.  Why they can't turn her ringer on?  What crappy people they are.  Watching her just go down the road by herself is a little scary.  Friends not far from here, but?  Got to get them out of here!  I will find some peace.  "With peace, comes a price?" - sle.