"The most terrifying ghost is

 the one from the death of wanting more," - sle.  Watching His Girl Friday.  Love Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell.  Never cared for it much before, but don't feel as bad about it as before.  Seems like the quality of the movie is better.  It looks better.  Just basically listening to the movie.  Almost overr.  Did some school work.  Getting ahead of the game.  Starting to think about outside and the stars.  Imagining a star filled night.  Now, lightning bugs.  Life is wonderful, even the hard times.  Movie over.  Do need to start writing on my stories.  "A Winter Romance," boy, another topic I can write on.  Oh, terrifying ghost, referring to the women I mentioned in my last post.  Their faces like they are missing something in life.  In a way, they have a look like a ghost.  Just staring into nothing.  Oh, they eventually smile or give a look but they seem to have a pale white look to them, no matter, their skin tone.  Can't wait to get Wednesday overwith.  Get back to taking care of myself.  Just playing my own game.  Does Taco Bell cheese have to be put into the fridge if being left overnight?  Well, I put it in.  I don't think it does, but rather be szfe than sorry.  Thinking I should have taken up painting.  I started to draw some years ago and took it a little serriously, but stopped.  Anyway, don't have the patience for painting.  Movie is nice.  A dad in the movie mentioned memories.  I do have memories.  What are memories?  How true are they?  We all see things differently.  What are words?  But memories and imagination???  Think something about the wallpaper in the movie will save the day.  Hmmm.  Sweet Pea gets a little bothered when I try to guess things.  Well, she use to.  She is a kick.  Wasn't the wallpaper, haha, but Roosevelt.  Nice movie.  Still waiting for the end and for dishes to finish, haha.  Nice finish.  Got clock moved.  He is at the top of things now.  My grandmother's cross.  Haha.  What are pains?  What are hurts?  Does anything really matter in life?  Guess why Sweet Pea means so much to me.  She does.  But, life.  We all have our hell to go through.  Mine is still to come.  Tomorrow.  Sucking up the pain and hurt.  Is that what life is about?  Good night.  Beautiful morning.  Sweet Pea on YouTube.  She is the cutest.  Did exercises and had breakfast.  Was going to watch Blonde but too dramatic for me, for a lack of a better term.  Debating about going to the mall.  Might see if Boo can go, but still debating.  Think Mr. Kenny wanted to do some talking but just don't feel like it today.  Nice beautiful Sunday.  Thought earlier about God resting on Sunday.  Was it rest or just sitting back and looking at the beauty of His creation.  Can see Him laying back with a mint tulip and smiling.  Dogs, haha.  Went outside.  Beautiful.  Rosie does do good.  Gave them big chew bones, or something.  Red October.  Have three brothers born in October.  Believe, Hoot, too, on 17th.  Brothers, 3rd, 11th, and 22nd.  This morning thought, wrote something like it in Above Cognitive, what if all my writing here is just story telling.  Haha.  The past and future are both imagination.  Present is existenace.  Present is reality.  Imagination is reality.  What a circle.  Well, let me see if Sweet Pea wants to go.  Might go by myself.  Shouldn't.  All the walking, but live only once.  Had a great time with Sweet Pea at the mall.  Lot of walking but feet don't feel too bad.  Got her some stuff and she played the arcade stuff.  She had a great time.  Stopped at Walmart for a few minutes and we enjoyed ourselves.  She is taking a bath in the back.  Still waiting for the end of January.  One way or the other, won't be here much longer than that.  Thieves, liars, and cheats.  Crap you can't get off your feet.  Well, they think they are so smart, but in time, it catches up to them.  In time.  Sad when a father is forgotten for a piece of shit.  Well, my hell might be coming, but I have been through hell before.  One more time doesn't mean much.  Arrogant people that aren't worth a damn do rub me the wrong way.  No decency.  Boo has Rosie and Chance with her.  The kids and all at the mall were all having good times it seemed.  It made me appreciate more with what I feel for Boo.  But the thought of finding someone has its price.  Still figuring out why God has sent such crap my way.  I hated it as a child, including hating my father, and now, hating the crap here.  Such arrogant people yet trashy as shit.  No, not so much the way they live, the way they are inside.  The way she treated her mom and the way the bastard treated her and she don't have enough sense or pride or self-esteem to realize what he really thinks of her, as a piece of trash.  Anyway.  End of January, if not sooner.  Boo will simply grow up a little more.  Time for a little supper.  Wednesday will start back on the stick.  May have gained some back but in differrent places, so hope, won't be too difficult to lose again and some more.  God, trash!  Could be here all year writing about trashiy people.  Well, going to enoy my Boo as she plays with YouTube.  Good night to all.  Chance is going to bed.  Haha.  God bless.  Don't know what lesson He is trying to teach me other than I have bad judgment in people.  Did great witth Janet.  One out of two isn't bad in baseball.  Haha.  Oh, Sweet Pea.  She is worth my self-control.  My mom's temper is there.  Have a great week.